Whodunit?

There are two people that must live somewhere in our house which I have yet to meet. The kids know them well and interact with them daily. They seem to have their hand in practically every unpleasant interaction that transpires between Mads and Bubs and they only involve themselves when I am not present to witness their actions. Their names; I Don’t Know and Not Me.

I Don’t Know is often the cause of many accidents. Just this morning, I Don’t Know spilled some milk on the floor and left globs of toothpaste on the bathroom counter. I Don’t Know is notorious for leaving many of Bub’s toys strewn about which is unfortunate for him since he often receives the blame. I Don’t Know caused me quite a bit of frustration this afternoon by leaving the screen door open-twice.

I Don’t Know’s counterpart is the notorious Not Me. Not Me has accidents every so often, though not quite as often as I Don’t Know. Not Me leaves toys out only every once in awhile. Not Me has never left the screen door open, though Not Me has pulled the screen door off the track entirely-twice. Not Me has a habit of being physically malicious. Bubs is most often the target of bumps, pinches, and pushes from Not Me. Not Me tends to be bossy, from what I gather, because I Don’t Know often reacts badly to Not Me’s dominion by doing things such as messing up neatly arranged toys or making angry faces. Not Me also yells loudly in protest at times and from the other room, the voice sounds strangely familiar.

I never want to be the Mom who falsely accuses or disciplines unjustly. Unfortunately, until they show their faces, poor Mads and Bubs will have to continue shouldering the consequences for

I Don’t Know

and

Not Me.

I have it on good authority that they will soon be joined by a third elusive friend; the irresistible

Me Either